We caught up with internationally renowned lesbian comedians Jen Brister and Suzi Ruffell and chatted about comedy, dating, love and more…
Do you feel that people have expectations of you as lesbian comedians?
SR: I’m a stand-up who also happens to be gay and I don’t feel like it massively defines who I am in the world. It’s just who I go to bed with – that’s me! I appreciate that other people prefer to identify themselves in different ways. I feel like as soon as you get on stage a lot of people want you to speak on their behalf. They feel like we are representing them just because I’m a lesbian.
JB: No, I don’t represent lesbians, I can only represent me – I’m a stand-up comedian.
SR: This is especially the case because there are not many well-known lesbian comedians. We perform to ALL people. People don’t come and see us because we are lesbians and most will not even know that we are lesbians. Sometimes people don’t even look at who is on the comedy bill. We are circuit comics and we work on the circuit. We may, as gay women, get invited to events like this also because we are gay. But I definitely wouldn’t classify myself as a gay comedian because I wouldn’t classify myself as a gay person. I’m just a person.
JB: Being a lesbian comic does not mean that I will talk about being a lesbian all the time. I talk about being gay because I am, but it’s not my act. If I have to do an hour’s show and I bang on about being a lesbian people would be like ‘BORING’! Even lesbians would be bored! They would say we know you’re a lesbian, we’re all lesbians – just get over it; make us laugh and be funny.
What makes you two laugh?
SR: Jen Brister makes me laugh – she’s very very funny. When I’m on the phone to her and she’s in Tesco’s and she’s like ‘I can’t find the ***ing thing…’
JB: I rant a lot…
Wanda Sykes makes us laugh. She’s brilliant and Ruffell’s introduced me to her and I think she’s absolutely brilliant. She didn’t actually introduce me to her… I would love to meet her! One day hopefully we will meet Wanda.
SR: I love Louis CK – I think he’s probably one of the best comics in the world! Maria Bamford – she’s great, she’s wonderful!
What about things that are not meant to be comedy?
SR: People falling over is always funny to me.
JB: I think anything that everyone does over and over again is funny.
SR: I gigged with a comic the other day and as he walked on stage he almost fell over – I had real trouble getting myself together. It really was the highlight of my week.
My dad also makes me laugh.
JB: My mum makes me laugh. And Ruffell’s stories about her dad are really funny.
SR: My mum is a like a straight man; she’ll just bring my dad down. My dad’s favourite thing to do is to get the remote control and flick it at my mum and say that he wants her to change into a leggy blonde. My mum will just cut him down. My mum is also really good at darts. Her and my dad had a row the other day and she picked up a pen and threw it at him and it went straight in his eye and it was bloodshot for a week.
Jen Brister
What do you like to do on a first date?
SR: I like to go for drinks and dancing. (Joking) Dancing is a great date because you get to touch them without them expecting it. If there is chemistry then it’s great to dance. If they can move on the dance floor then it is quite likely that they will be good in the bedroom.
No seriously a nice drink and somewhere you can talk first is great. You can stop the date after the drinks and not dance if it doesn’t go well.
If a date doesn’t go well have you got a get out clause?
SR: No because I’m really honest and I would say ‘well let’s hit the road.’ Sometimes you don’t have chemistry and it’s not anyone’s fault.
What qualities does she need to have?
SR: (Jokes) A vagina….
A good sense of humour and she has to laugh at my jokes. They should match you as I love a bit of banter. I’ve also got to be attracted to them. (Smiles) I like women with long legs and beautiful bodies. They ideally need to be nice and funny and have a good personality.
Do you think it’s hard to get a woman who is hot AND clever?
JB: I’ve found it! It’s about connection as it’s not about how bright she is. Hot is different to everyone. It’s about having that thing – that frisson.
SR: It’s like when you meet that someone and it’s so exciting and you have that moment when you think this could be it, this could be it forever! They could look like anyone, but it doesn’t matter because you have that thing!
Suzi Ruffell
What is your definition of true love?
SR: I think I had my first true love with my first proper girlfriend. We went on holiday to Turkey for a week and we had to pretend to be sisters, because it’s a Muslim country, and we had these terrible boat trips and on paper it was such an awful holiday. But because we were so in love we had the best time ever and I think that is the definition of true love! During the first couple of years we would walk home from clubs that were four miles away and just spend the whole time talking. So no matter what you are doing, it is always fun as you’re together and it’s exciting.
JB: I’ve been together with my partner for 7 years. Love is lots of things; it’s not one thing. To make a relationship last, love isn’t all or nothing. It’s not about ticking every box. I think people have to remember that your partner does not have to fulfil everything in your life. If you remember this then you can make a relationship last. When you fall in love with that person; you accept them. A lot of people say ‘I really want them to do this and that’, but if you love them it shouldn’t matter. You have to take them for who they are. Some people say ‘well they don’t agree with my politics or intellectually stimulate me when I talk about art’ and I’m like yeah ‘well go to someone else.’ ‘You’ve got a mate who likes art so why don’t you talk to them about it?’ You can’t expect them to be interested in everything that you are interested in. I think in lesbian relationships we tend to fuse together and we often become amoebas. We need to make sure that we spend time with other people as well.
I do think that you need to lead a balanced life and be an independent person. If you are happy to spend time on your own as well as with your partner then that is how any relationship works.
You need to love yourself first and be really happy on your own. Then you will meet the right person. Otherwise you may meet the wrong person and stay with them because you are too scared to be on your own.
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Jen Brister
“After performing in front of the legendary Spike Milligan and receiving the luminous and prestigious title of having ‘a great pair of Bristols,’ Jen knew that comedy was the way forward. So with the help of two jokes and a push up bra she was on her way…
Since that heady day Jen has performed stand up in clubs all over the country (literally) as well as sketch comedy in numerous groups including the Loose Connection.”
Suzi Ruffell
“Leicester Mercury Comedian of the Year nominee and Latitude New Act of the Year finalist, Suzi Ruffell, has just returned from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival where her hotly anticipated debut show received rave reviews. Suzi is performing all over the country with Kevin Bridges and Josh Widdicombe on tour this year. Away from stand up Suzi is also a talented writer with her latest script a collaboration with award winning writer Jon Brittain being nominated for a 2012 BAFTA Rocliffe New Writing Award.”