This week’s lesbian TV highlight in the news included Britain’s Got Talent’s femme lesbian singer, Eva Iglesias, and her emotional outburst about her breakup with her partner. Firstly, I would like to make a point that a relationship with someone for 3 years makes someone a ‘girlfriend’ not a ‘lesbian lover’, as was reported in the British tabloids.
Eva, I can only go by the show on Saturday night, what was reported in the tabloids, and your interview on ITV’s ‘Lorraine’.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
A. Why does your ex want to meet up after hearing about you being on TV? Is she coming back for the right reasons, because she realises how much she does love you, or is it because of potential fame and fortune? Coincidence or dubious?! Could she realise how successful you could be and doesn’t want to see you with anyone else? And what are your reasons to having her in your life?
B. You said about meeting up for dinner, “I just hope she turns up.’ That is not faith in someone, if there was no doubt then there would be no question of this.
C. Could she hurt you again because of unresolved issues that go deeper than you both are able and willing to work through, and communicate with one another? And in the long-term, can you forgive her? Because always reminding her what she did will never work!
Here is some serious advice regarding your ex, your own worth and what could come in the future.
1. Your self-esteem is not in the right place for a relationship right now, based on how you came across on the show. That was your emotional self after a performance that took everything out of you, what came across as a desperation that is just not healthy.
You are a talented woman, and when it is the right time, you will have that special someone in your life, seeing you for you, and loving everything about you; NOT degrading yourself with someone who doesn’t see you as you deserve. Look at who you are, what you stand for and what you want and need. There are lots of amazing women who would see all your fabulous qualities, thousands of potential women on Pink Lobster Dating looking for true love.
2. If you are, however, going to give her a chance, spend time with ‘her’ but stay away from sexual intimacy, until you are sure that it’s meant to be, and she has gained back your trust. Think about what’s truly important to you and if she can really give that to you. To take anyone back, you need forgiveness, of them and for yourself for anything and everything. She may have come in to your life for a reason and that needs to be acknowledged, but not necessarily for a lifetime!
3. You will be so busy with the show, so get your head in to the competition, and put this relationship to the back of your mind. You have a real chance of success with Britain’s Got Talent and focusing on this can really give you the answers on all areas of your life.
What’s important:
· Go with your gut instinct Eva, not your head or heart! And if you can work it out then do so in your own time.
· Find your strength and love yourself, work on you! AND have fun with the show; it’s your time to shine!
· Find the one who is right for you and not the one who thinks you are right for her. In the same vein as Julio Iglesias…. For all the girls you’ve loved before, wait for the right one to come through your door!
By Emma Ziff
Emma Ziff, Pink Lobster Dating’s resident Sex, Love & Intimacy Expert is an internationally acclaimed Relationship Therapist in TV, media and radio, covering many topics that most people would run a mile from. Combining the knowledge of Dr Ruth with the humour of Joan Rivers, she is a sought after speaker and seminar leader empowering through self-awareness, in a fun and informative way.