I'm wasted as a lesbian
'Wow! You look amazing! You're wasted as a lesbian.'
Oh crikey. Now, I am aware that this comment was made with every intention of being a compliment- that somewhere, buried under the swathes of ignorance, there lay good will. However, unfortunately even the best laid plans can lead to ruin, and this comment aptly articulates many of the current unfair misunderstandings facing lesbians and bisexual women. This 'compliment' actually reveals a rather sinister attitude; as a 'lesbian', I'm wasted because I'm never going to sexually gratify a man. I am a waste because I'm 'hot'- by a mans' standards. If I was ugly, fuck it. May as well be a lesbian. No man would want me anyway. Not for my personality or my mind. That's how it works.
Now, I am not and have never claimed to be a lesbian. I am happily partying somewhere in between the fairly limiting labels of 'gay' and 'straight', which unfortunately seem to only be applicable with a vast weight of cultural baggage and assumptions. I wish we lived in a world where there didn't even need to be words such as gay or straight, and that all people in the world were free to love whomever they wished without being hassled by social expectations.
But no. I have kissed a girl because I wanted to kiss her, and not to entice a man, therefore I am a lesbian. I must shave half off my hair, hate the colour pink but adore Pink the singer and throw a coming out party serving miniature lemon drizzle cakes and jam. Lesbians love jam.
And I'm wasted. I'm an absolute waste of a human because of my sexual orientation. Because women are only useful in terms of their sex appeal - sex appeal exclusively for men. Girls- we're not useful for anything else. Forget your achievements, your intelligence, your goals. If you aren't sexy enough for a man, you're a waste. You're not fulfilling your one purpose. Especially if you're a lesbian. That means you're never going to sexually gratify a man. What an awful waste of space you truly are.
But because I have had the privilege of being deemed attractive by a real life male, that means I must be upgraded to being straight. Ugly gay women aspire to be like pretty straight women. Let the men pick the pretty ones that they want to be their girlfriends or one night stands or rebounds, then let the ugly leftovers fight each other for their last resorts. If only that was how sexuality, love and romance work, because then, I could have been picked by a man. Lucky, lucky me.
What a compliment indeed.