Choosing to be Gay
The commonly accepted argument is that one cannot choose to be homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Despite no concrete scientific evidence regarding the biological side of things, such as the discovery of a ‘gay gene’, we typically understand the direction of our attraction to be something determined before birth. To quote Gaga, we were born this way, baby.
Or, were we?
Feminist writer Julie Bindel has shocked people recently by claiming that sexuality ‘has to be some kind of choice, as well as some deep-rooted, embedded responses that developed through different experiences in our childhood.’
It is important to say that Bindel views this as a positive thing. Too often we hear homophobic comments claiming that because we choose to be gay, we can choose to be straight. However, many people (myself included) view sexuality as a spectrum, and believe that most people fall somewhere in the middle between gay and straight. Unfortunately, hetero-normativity and LGBT-phobia often constrains people from exploring same-sex relationships. It is then liberating for an individual to make the choice to date someone of the same sex or gender.
But, there’s that word again: choice. Sure, you could argue that I can choose who I date. I could choose to go and ask a man out, but that doesn’t make me straight. Using this logic, of course you can choose who you date, but I don’t believe you can control who you are attracted to, and thus who you actually want to date.